Self-image

How do you see yourself? Have you ever asked the question what you believe about yourself?

The book psycho-cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz touches the subject of self-image. Maltz was a plastic surgeon treating scars. Many of his patients came after an accident which had left them deformed and made them feel, act and perform worse in life. Maltz made the profound discovery that most of his patients improved significantly in their abilities and mood after the plastic surgery. But why? In the end nothing has changed about them accept their appearance. But something did change. With their appearance altered their self-image improved which improved their overall life. These people no longer looked down upon themselves but rather had pride looking in the mirror which was reflected in their mood and performance.

Our mind knows only its subjective reality and it has difficulties to adapt to shake ups in its world view. We don´t realize that we think subjectively rather we believe the world would turn around us. When we believe something, our mind tries to find evidence in real life to confirm its subjective reality. So, when you believe you are bad at something your mind will sabotage you in order to make its world view match reality and vice versa. So, it is crucial to have an adequate self-image to support you instead of sabotaging you.

“It defines what you can and cannot do. Expand the self-image and you expand the area of the possible.”

We have to avoid making generalized statements about ourselves like “I am bad at math” because it will ricochet right back at us the next time we have to perform in this discipline. Furthermore, do these assumptions consolidate reality as unchangeable suppressing every attempt at improving. We are a blank slate at our birth whether we end up successful or not lies within our own hands and is not determined by our genetics but only by the effort we put in. Important her is how we deal with negative feedback and is our response justified. Most of the time people draw unjustified conclusions talking themselves down punishing themselves unnecessarily.

Everything you “are” is just a believe you have. Everything you lack could be learned with enough diligence. In our modern society everything is in your hands the internet offers endless possibilities to learn about everything you ever dreamed of whether you make use of this possibility depends on your beliefs and goals. The author of Psycho-Cybernetics argues that everybody has goals, whether good or bad is our decision. Moreover, do these goals originate from mental images we form i.e. our imagination. The real deal is that the brain has a build in servo-mechanism which automatically guides us to the mental image in mind. To reach its destination the mind processes negative feedback over and over and adjusts the direction each time.

As we see goals originate from our mental images when they are negative your goals will reflect that.

The crux to the goal seeking mechanism is how we deal with the negative feedback. Negative feedback should be processed in our subconscious because we could draw false conclusion which impact our self-image.

The goal seeking mechanism works as follows: aiming at a mental image → receiving negative feedback → adjusting direction → success towards the goal → forgetting of the negative feedback → repeat.

It works similar to a little child who learns to walk the difference being that adult people draw false conclusions from failures.

“Only little men are never wrong”

To guard us from the negative feedback loop it is important to accept shortcomings and mistakes for what they are without projecting them onto our self-image. Rational thinking is the key to an adequate self-image and an adequate self-image is the key to a better life.

Feelings are the soil that thoughts and ideas grow in. There are no good or bad emotions only appropriate and inappropriate ones. The problem with negative feelings is that they originate from false conclusions or emotional hurts which lead to an inadequate self-image further decreasing our abilities and ultimately leading to a negative feedback loop. Cultivating positive feelings on the other hand help deal with the challenge’s life throws at us because we become happier making false assumptions unlikely. The negative experiences remain as emotional scars which impact our self-image. Like the scar which makes us unhappy when we look in the mirror do emotional scars wall off our mind from other people friends and foes alike. Recognize that feelings are just a product of your mind and you can alter them. As with unreasonable conclusion does rational thinking aid in the recovery process. Genuinely forgive who or what has hurt you and become rational about your response. Forgiveness will heal your emotional scars revealing your true self.

All your actions, feelings, behaviours - even your abilities - are always consistent with your self-image.

Remember, life rewards the prepared.