Your inner bitch
Time to read: 7 min
Disclaimer: This Blog contains swear words.
The little voice that emerges each time we approach our current limit is familiar to us all. It's that soothing tone attempting to persuade us to halt. This voice seems to surface only when we are nearing our thresholds, whether in studying or working out. I've always grappled with this voice, and before delving into discussing this internal adversary, I want to emphasize one thing: You can't permanently overcome this voice. Don't assume that once you've conquered it for the first time, you'll never hear it again. That would be too simplistic. This inner bitch grows alongside you. The higher you ascend in terms of mental fortitude, the more potent this demon becomes.
Currently, I'm training a minimum of 5 times per week. It's not overly challenging once you establish the routine. However, it presents its challenges. The more you train, the quicker exhaustion sets in the following day, with muscles sore and aching, particularly in cardio-intensive sports like boxing or swimming. Working out in the gym with sore muscles isn't a problem since you aren't consistently engaging those muscles for prolonged periods. But when you push yourself to train more frequently, your inner voice urges you to stop. It's not comfortable to push beyond three intense workouts per week. It's far easier to lounge on the couch and indulge in some Netflix. That's the comfort zone—an inviting refuge free from worries. So what's wrong with that? After all, everyone deserves downtime, right?
Nothing Thrives Inside the Comfort Zone
Yes, relaxation is essential, but it's crucial not to overindulge. The comfort zone should be a place for brief respite, not a permanent residence. After my first history exam, I decided to take a day off—a day devoid of studying, just to reward myself. It coincided with my dad's birthday, so I spent the day with my family, a refreshing break. I treated myself to a fantasy book I had been eyeing for post-exam leisure. The following day, I intended to resume studying for my upcoming exams in English and Math. However, I found myself strongly averse to the idea of dedicating hours to a subject I disliked intensely. Consequently, I spent the day engrossed in my new book, reading over 100 pages. The pattern continued the next day—no studying, just indulging in reading and coaching the kids on my team. "You have plenty of time, just relax a bit," I kept telling myself. In summary, I took a four-day break.
Now, with my next exam in a week and the final one in ten days, I regret those four days off. My complacency has come back to haunt me. I realized I was woefully unprepared, particularly in math. It hit me like a sledgehammer to the skull—I had to work doubly hard to compensate for the lack of preparation. Eight hours of non-stop math study followed by six hours the next day yielded minimal improvement. I still need to cram more.
All this could have been avoided had I not succumbed to my inner demon. The comfort zone held me back, and now I'm paying the price in nerves and time. I never studied that much in school, so 8 hours studying were a new territory for me and I hated it. I hated myself for being a lazy cunt.
How to Conquer Your Inner Bitch
You must silence that inner voice by breaking its spirit. David Goggins calls it "taking souls." I continued training despite needing to study because I needed balance. My inner voice remained silent because I enjoy training. That's the crux of the issue—you can't defeat the demon by indulging in activities you enjoy. Training rigorously several times a week may seem like a solution, but it's ineffective if you love it too much. I relish hard training but abhor intense study sessions. I can't overcome my inner laziness if I avoid what I detest. I had this conversation with my younger brother, who is very disciplined when it comes to working out. He boasted about his discipline in training hard every day. In response, I questioned whether it's genuine discipline to do nothing besides sleeping and working out—both activities he enjoys. I pointed out that activities like reading, cleaning the dishes, and taking out the trash, which he dislikes and used to avoid, are where true discipline lies. Now, he's tackling all of these tasks and has become even more disciplined than before. After writing this blog, I'll force myself to study for my exams, and afterward, I'll reward myself with a grueling training session. You can only defeat your inner critic by confronting it head-on, by creating so much friction that it falls silent. When faced with difficulties in training, when the pain sets in and you're tempted to quit, remind yourself that you're in control. "We can either finish this set or do twice as much if we stop now!" Speak to yourself in this manner, and your inner demon will fight harder. Remember, your inner bitch thrives in the comfort zone—you must break free. It won't be easy; it requires immense discipline, just like any other significant endeavor in life.
Work must be done. Without it, there's no success, and without success, there are no rewards for your hard work. Every diamond requires pressure to become valuable.
"You only grow by doing the things you hate and fear." That's the ultimate path to self-improvement. Live by this mantra, and you'll go far in life. I'm beginning to embrace it myself.
But What If I Fail?
"What if you don't?" Even if you fail, you've accomplished something significant. You've taken action. Failure provides an opportunity to learn and improve for the next attempt.
"Congratulations, you've achieved failure!" —Tom Platz
