Understand Yourself (Finding Your Character)

Time to read: 3 min

Every human is different, and so is every character.

I want to write about the importance of finding and building your character. The knowledge is based on the book 'The Concise Laws of Human Nature' by Robert Greene, which I’m currently reading, as well as my own experience in this endeavor.

“Character is destiny.” ~Heraclitus

Know thoroughly your own character so you can break your compulsive patterns and take control of your destiny. Our characters are formed in our earliest years and by our daily habits. Robert Greene mentions the importance of observing people's characters, selecting between strong and weak characters, as well as recognizing and therefore staying away from the toxic types, which I will come to later on.

You aren’t controlled by spirits, gods, or other circumstances but by your character. Think of a video game set in a fantasy world. In the beginning, you can choose your character, who has strengths and weaknesses depending on their class. The barbarian is extremely vigorous in close combat and a potent tank but lacks understanding of magic and arcane wisdom. Therefore, he would be a good bodyguard, but you wouldn’t ask him to solve fundamental problems regarding income tax. Think of 10 skeletons attacking your character. You play out the scenario twice with two different characters: Barbarian and Wizard. It’s pretty obvious that the Barbarian would crush the skeletons in a wild rage with his weapon of choice, risking his life in the process. It’s needless to say that the wizard would behave in this way. Why risk your life and get your hands dirty in combat when you can use more civilized ways? He would cast a fireball to turn the skeletons to ashes or even manipulate them to fight for him. As you can see, both have their strengths and weaknesses which make them unique. Just like you and me, they have a character. Finding your character means observing your past, all the elements that formed it.

You also have to pay attention to negative situations or behavior which seem to reoccur in your life. Once you've done that, you need to understand one thing: You can’t change or fight against your character; it lies too deep within us. What you can do is transform negative aspects into strengths and weaknesses into strengths. This doesn’t mean that you should cover up your weakness as a strength though; don’t lie to yourself. We all have strong character and weak character qualities; still, some are clearly detectable. But how can we do that?

Separating weak from strong characters

Robert Greene gives a clear definition of the two types of characters. It is important to mention that this is more of a simplification to understand the schemes of characters that occur in humanity. Characters lie deep within us, and my character is different from yours. Nevertheless, there are some similarities, hence the classification in strong and weak characters."

According to Greene, strong characters have a strong feeling of security and self-worth, allowing them to take criticism and learn from their mistakes. Therefore, they don’t give up so easily, are rigorously persistent, and want to get better, always open to new ideas. Weak characters are the opposite, easily overwhelmed by circumstances. They are hard to rely on, slippery, and evasive. The worst thing is that they cannot be taught; they’re unavailable to criticism.

You should prioritize the character of people above all things. I’d rather have a less charming and intelligent friend with a strong character than the opposite. If you can relate to this, you now know that you want strong characters in your life.

“People of real strength are as rare as gold, and if you find them, you should respond as if you had discovered a treasure." ~ Robert Greene

I think you now understand the overall scheme of different characters divided into strong and weak ones. The problem is that, not every strong character is pure and good for you. The so called “toxic” character types are a key factor to understanding whether to trust or distrust people. Remember that you should always pay attention to the character of other people first. Do you think they’re strong characters or weak ones?

⚠️ This was the first part of the series: “Understanding yourself”. Next week, you’ll learn about the toxic characters and how to deal with them, so that you can avoid them as fast as possible.

I hope you are doing well, stay tuned for next week!