The power of friendship
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Show me your friends and I´ll show you your future.
Humans are social animals. Our social circle has a big impact on our development in the future. This is why we have to choose our social circle carefully to ensure we surround ourselves with people who benefit us and not tear us down. Many relationships are out of convenience not because they benefit both parties. The people you hang up with will influence your behaviour, positive or negative. So, if you have friends who do drugs, drink alcohol and don´t care about their health you probably will reflect this behaviour too. The same goes for good habits like working out, learning or abstaining from intoxicants. It is way easier to stick to certain habits if everybody around does the same. More than two years ago around the lowest point of my life my best friend Tim persuaded me to sign up to a gym membership. Something I probably wouldn´t have done on my own. Since then we hit a lot of good workouts together and alone. Without someone who forced me from the outside I wouldn´t have started weightlifting. If I had a friend who didn´t embody the value of becoming physically fit and strong I would have become the same. Humans mirror their surroundings. We learn through mirroring the behaviour of our parents, teachers, friends. Robert Greene, an author on power, strategy and seduction, calls this the power of contagion. In his book “The daily laws” he writes that we should avoid unhappy people and join the happy and content because behaviour and attitude are contagious. The university of Washington concludes, if parents are smokers it is twice as likely that the child begins smoking during the ages 13 to 21. You can´t choose your parents and how they behave but you can choose your friends. I would make the bold statement that friends can have somewhat of the same impact on your behaviour as your parents. That is why I would advise you choose people who embody similar values and traits. It is better to have disciplined, educated friends than sloths hanging around all day blowing their brains out with drugs. I believe a true friendship is also about accountability. When one-person slacks with their discipline the other kicks their ass to get them on the right track again. This should go both ways and you are responsible for your friends too. Therefore, is it important to share values to appreciate the motivation a true friend can give you.
It can also be valuable to have friends who are better than you in certain aspects of life. May it be sports or arts it doesn´t matter as long as you can learn from them and they can learn from you. What is it we truly seek when engaging in a close relationship? And I distinguish between close friends and acquaintances. I´d say the thing most people crave is someone to share beautiful, funny experiences with but also someone to grow and have deep talks with. Maybe your definition differs but what counts is that not every person will fit my or your definition of friendship. This is why you have to choose your friends to get a perfect fit. And make it a serious choice because you may stick to them for the rest of your life.
If you´ve got the question how to get friends, look at my blog “Talk to people” or ask questions in the comment section. It isn’t as difficult as you might expect.
Remember, life rewards the prepared.
