Lead and take action
I don´t enjoy making decisions especially out of the blue. When tasked with a sudden decision many people become overwhelmed because they overthink the decision and it´s outcomes or they just don ‘t care about the outcome and are fine with either. If you assume this stance you might be totally convinced that the outcome doesn´t really matter too you but if you are indifferent you haven’t come to a decision, have you?
After school I go to my grandparents for lunch. Many times, I´m getting asked by my grandma what she should cook next week and every time I get asked I start to think about meals I would like but seem to never come up with ideas because I´m more or less indifferent about it and enjoy every meal my grandmas cook. I feel uncomfortable having to decide. But if we really don´t care about the results of our decision we should just make one without thinking too hard about it. Indecisiveness is inaction and inaction is death. Furthermore, decision fatigue sets in. When you have to make many decisions during the day your brain literally slows down. This is the reason highly successful people like Obama or Steve Jobs wear the same clothes every day to save their brainpower for the important tasks. Decision fatigue applies even to the simplest decisions like what should I wear, what should I eat, what should I do with my time. You won´t be at your full capacity when facing the important, life altering, decisions. Moreover, the simple decisions could be resolved without thinking much about them. If you are in a restaurant instead of scanning the menu up and down for the best possible meal and comparing each choice and it´s outcome just pick one you like without thinking about it too much. Just follow your gut feeling. It can happen that you trap yourself in analysing mode and even questioning your choice maybe even regretting it. Most choices we make are trivial but our mind inflates them to seem important and life changing. We end up with regret, pain and misery thinking about our past or near future. We become passive not moving forward not living the moment.
The kicker is you aren´t the only person feeling indifferent about decisions or overwhelmed by the decision-making process. So, to make life easier for people around you take the lead and choose a path to follow or at least give tangible options to choose from.
If you plan a date and you say “I don´t care where we are going I am fine with everything” who in hell can work with this statement. You might mean it but you haven´t contributed to resolving the decision. Either trust your gut feeling and give some options you feel like pursuing or give a concrete answer to the problem. If both parties would assume the “I don´t care” stance then together they won´t come to a solution and they spin in circles of inaction. It is not about deciding above the persons head but to narrow down the choosable options. As previously stated the decision itself isn´t that relevant even for a date occasions what matters more is that the date even takes place. Sometimes people are afraid to make commitments and you have to gently push them into trajectory with your guidance. Being decisive builds you a reputation as a leader. People will come to you for counsel and they will trust you that you make wise decisions. In the end you can use this to your advantage. If you are decisive you can “play” on your terms and take influence on events regarding your life. A passive person has less control over his life than a fully active person. If you wait till everything gets handed to you you have to wait pretty long but most positive changes and experiences are only a few steps and a little effort away. Be a leader for your own life and lead yourself to a better life.
“The ruler is the first servant of the state” - Frederick the Great
Being a leader isn´t and shouldn´t be about personal gain, prestige or money but too give your wisdom and your abilities to other people. Plutarch, a philosopher from ancient Greece, has written multiple essays on how to be a leader. For Plutarch someone should only lead if he is motivated by a sense of duty and honour not by personal desires for glory. Furthermore, a leader should be guided by reason. If you take on responsibility you should be certain that you make good decisions. In the way of the superior man David Deida writes on leadership and decision making too. Deida argues, that one aspect of the masculine is clarity and decisiveness. The masculine gift is to analyse all the options and make an educated decision based on the analysis. You should use this masculine gift and help others with your view on a decision. Even if your evaluation isn´t the ultimate path you have contributed your abilities to serve the community and help fight inaction. Ultimately the superior man will use his abilities, his gift, to give himself to the world. In addition, the feminine decision-making approach would include feeling your way into the situation and to decide based on these feelings. This feminine approach will work better most of the times, Deida states, and we can incorporate this into our life's too. As stated above if we are in a restaurant choosing which meal we want to eat just feel what you like and pick the first thing coming to your mind there is no analysing the menu it´s just inappropriate and overkill here.
Leading isn´t about fun. You have to build your moral compass and act with reason and wisdom. You have to behave how you want others to behave. Don´t preach water if you drink wine. If you want to lead you first have to learn to follow. Nobody is a born leader you have to build yourself up to become one. But in the end, you will be the first servant and if you have built yourself up to a respectable capable human you will be able to support people and make their life´s easier.
Remember, life rewards the prepared.
