Don’t judge people
When I finished this blog, my official last day of school was yesterday. It's 23:27 right now. Today was a special day. Not only was it the last day of school, but I learned so much that I wanted to start writing immediately, instead of waiting until 7 am on Saturday. Most of the time, I never really got used to the majority of the people in school around my age. I always felt I lacked something they had, or they lacked something I had. It could be that I’m feeling sentimental right now, but who gives a shit. The first thing I learned today is that everyone has a different story. We all have our dark pasts that made us the people we are today. I always had different opinions on several topics or life in general from one girl in my English class. The differences were so obvious that teachers used to make fun of us when we were in the same group. I never hated her or anything, but I got pissed at her several times. She ended up being the person I learned the most from today. She taught me patience without even noticing it. I learned to deal with people who had extremely contradictory opinions to mine. I always felt she was delusional for believing things she was so eager to defend in class all the time. Today, I learned some things about her past because of our talk. I obviously won’t mention them, but I finally understood her as a person for the first time. She had her own story and had to deal with shit as well. It wasn’t the exact same shit, but it certainly didn’t smell like flowers either. Thank you for the conversation.
The only constant thing that we, as humans, can observe is suffering. The majority of character traits are rooted in our childhood, another portion comes from traumatic experiences, and the rest are defined by society on a daily basis. After I talked to her and got to know her better, my opinion of her changed. "Nothing changes if nothing changes" is such a common sentence, yet it has extreme value. You are the smith of your own fortune, so it’s on you to fix your situation. What other people think of you is irrelevant when you want to improve your life. Why would you trade happiness for validation from others? They're living their lives, and you're living yours. As Kurt Cobain sang: “Come as you are.” Stay true to yourself at all times. If you act against your gut, you’re rowing against the tide of your own destiny, rather than sailing with the flow.
I still struggle with knowing what I truly want. Sometimes, it isn’t clear to me which side I should pick. I always wanted to make other people happy while being happy myself. Now I know that this way of living my life might seem noble, but it ended up being destructive for myself and the people around me. Especially in a relationship, you should focus on your own happiness. This might sound selfish at first, but it ends up being the only source of securing true happiness and intimacy in a relationship. If you aren’t aligned with your true self, you’re not happy. Your partner will notice that you aren’t completely present, which certainly hurts. So, to prevent that suffering, you have to prioritize your own happiness first. When you are truly happy, your partner is as well. This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t care about their happiness, though.
I wanted to finish this blog yesterday, but I went out with my friends, and it was too late to continue writing, not to mention that I was completely hammered to the bone. It’s Sunday now, and I have new ideas that are fitting for this topic. I talked with Michael and Linus about several topics, which were very philosophical as always. I can’t recall the exact conversation; however, I know that we talked about Suffering, God, Love, Life, and pain. Michael mentioned his own philosophy of life.
“You should never judge people. The only judge is God.”
I know that there are several people from my school who don’t like me or think that I’m arrogant, which is completely fine with me. The people who know me well know how I truly am. I don’t judge them, and I don’t complain about it either. They probably have their reasons for their opinions of me, and I probably did something in the past that portrayed this image. Nothing is really personal. Just stay true to yourself, and that’s it. It is true that I’m harsh sometimes, but I always tell the truth. I’d rather be an honest asshole than a lying people-pleaser. The truth is the only thing that sets you free. Nothing liberates you more than the truth. On Friday, one guy from my school mentioned that he would rather believe a lie if the truth would be absolutely soul-crushing. I strongly disagreed with him because his life wouldn’t change if he wouldn’t accept the truth. I didn’t judge him, though. Everybody can believe what they want. We all know when we are bullshitting ourselves and when somebody tells the truth but hurts our ego because we don’t want to accept the truth. My advice is that you can never win against the truth. The stronger you fight against the truth, the harder your own life gets. Michael complimented me for my absolute honesty. Probably one of the reasons why we get along. Once you find your foxhole buddies, life starts to become like a video game. If you don’t have a foxhole buddy or a ride-or-die friend, you need to find yourself one. If your friends aren’t criticizing you when you mess up, they aren’t honest with you. I don’t like dishonest people. They have their reasons to behave like they do, which is fine with me. We as humans can decide how we want to live our lives. You can choose your identity. I just prefer to stay true to myself.
Have a nice day!
