Anxiety
At the dawn of the 19th century Napoleon had swept through Europe, defeating just about every army in his way. Arthur Wellesley, the future General of the British Army, was send Out to command the British forces against Napoleon. He remarked about the defeated European Generals: “Most of them we're beaten before they even started, I at least am not afraid”. Wellesley has beaten Napoleon on multiple occasions the most notorious being the Victory at Waterloo which ended the French hegemony in Europe.
Fear is the great filter to a great life. If we stay in our comfort zone our entire life we won´t reach our full potential and we miss the beauty of life. Whether it is a trip you want to make, a new skill to learn or a far-reaching life choice all of these come with anxiety and fear but may be the one life altering decision.
‘All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory’- motto of the King´s guard in ancient Greece
Last year in September I had my most recent boxing fight. I lost in the first round. A truly humiliating defeat but I had lost before I even climbed into the Ring. The week before the fight I didn´t feel thrilled to fight. My aversion turned into a gut-wrenching fear. The week before the fight I felt fear I wasn't even aware is possible. I couldn't sleep, I had stomach aches, I felt down dreading every minute the fight drew closer, my ability to box seemed non-existent. Even my teacher asked me whether I was fine because I gave the outward impression I wasn't and it was true deep down I didn't feel good. On fight day I weighed 6kg less than my opponent not even enough to be in the same weight category but I accepted to fight an uphill battle anyway because backing down would only nourish my fears. Before the fight began I tried to stare down my opponent but it didn't save me from getting overrun. After the fight the coach of a boxing Club told me I looked frightened and this would have been the reason for my defeat. I had tried to portray the illusion of being poised but it seemingly hasn´t worked.
In the end the gut-wrenching feelings that plagued my mind the whole week haven´t become reality. I was defeated, more humiliating then I could have ever imagined, but still it didn't feel as bad I felt more or less neutral.
I am proud that I still faced the challenge even though I didn't feel like it. It taught me an invaluable lesson that fear is only something the mind makes up and that it stems from a lack of preparation which is why I came up with my motto “life rewards the prepared”. If you are good and you know your abilities there is nothing or only little to fear. If you are unequipped for the task at hand your mind will make you fail before you are in the position to prove yourself.
Life isn't as serious as the mind makes it out to be. Many times, our fears are just an over-exaggeration of reality. They originate from a truth deep within ourselves like lack of preparation but you won´t compensate for that one week before a fight. Your fear is in disservice to you reducing your already insufficient powers. To reduce anxiety lastingly you have to prepare yourself every day for the challenges you might face in life. This is true for all areas not only fighting. If you are afraid of social interactions practice speaking every day be prepared to speak with strangers.
Constant exposure to the object of fear immunizes the fear. The more you face your fears the more you will learn that there is nothing to fear at all. How can it be that some people are afraid of spiders and some people fear nothing while spiders crawl up their arms and head. Fear is something subjective, an emotion and something we can train. As a train your abilities to face certain challenges you have to face the challenge itself over and over again until it becomes routine.
If you are in a first-time situation have a fearless attitude. “To thrive in a crisis the attitude of fearlessly accepting the challenge, and confidently expanding your strength is needed. By maintaining an aggressive, goal-directed attitude. Excitement before a crisis can be used good or bad.” That is why emotional control is necessary.
We have to take into consideration that fear is natural human response and we have fear for a reason.
“It is appropriate for the man who meets with the bear on the trail to experience fear.”
Still, we shouldn´t let fear become so strong that it makes succeeding impossible. There are two types of fear the first is grounded in reality the other is an illusion. If we face a bear there is a real thread and fear is appropriate. If we have a job interview or test our fear is an illusion. The first type of fear is no problem but maybe our only chance at survival, we can´t transcend it because you want to survive and that is good. The second type of fear is an illusion there is no real threat to our health and well-being. This fear can paralyze you but it can be transcended. To transcend this fear either prepare yourself for the situation like a test, fight, job interview or expose yourself to the situation over and over again until you realize the illusion and that there is nothing to fear at all.
It is impossible to feel fear and other negative emotions if you are relaxed, quiet and composed. So, if feel fear try to relax yourself do meditation, deep breathing or listen to music just get out of your mind and the constant thoughts of fear.
“Above all, keep in mind, and hammer it home to yourself, that the key to the matter of whether you are disturbed or tranquil, fearful or composed, is not the external stimulus, whatever it may be, but your own response and reaction.”
Remember, life rewards the prepared.
